Our most recent communication, late summer 2023 celebrations, was bright with photos of the wonderful occasion inaugurating FEBA’s Women’s Center. This continues that great event from a more personal perspective, bringing pictures of the marvelous fashion show, but also some stories of young women in the sewing school and reflections of our North American group. Names are changed, and stories do not correspond to photos, to protect the students’ privacy.
STORY
“I was born mute; I couldn’t talk. When the nurse told my mother that I was girl, she was devastated and said, “Why am I giving birth to girls? I am not going to see her. Look at her – she’s mute.” She rejected me. My father worked on boats and was away for a long time. They abandoned me because I was like a useless child. When I was 7 my aunt put me in a school for the dumb, no one wanted to take care of me… Later I learned to talk and married and had 4 children but my husband became abusive. No one would help me; finally I left… Then a man told me about FEBA. When I came I did not know how to read or write. I met Maman Monique; I was sick and she did everything to get me medical care. My teachers showed me love. Now I can read and write. I am sad because I don’t have my family but I still come here to learn and I am still fighting to go on.”
REFLECTIONS
[When I heard this story] “tears almost came to my eyes just listening to her. It was like ‘Nobody wants me, I am nobody’s child.’ But thank God she found Maman Monique and the Women’s Center. That Women’s Center is like a beacon of hope for those girls because they know they can go there and from here on things are going to be better. Maman Monique reminds me of Mother Theresa because she wants to do good for everybody and is perplexed when she does not have funds to do it.”
“…one of the students whose story was so hard: seeing the way she looked when she was sharing and then seeing her at the fashion show - I saw her just strutting down the aisle, so proud of herself, and it was so powerful and so touching. What wonderful work FEBA is doing there and how blessed we got to go and see it and to experience it ourselves.”
REFLECTIONS
“I was really moved when all the testimonies were being said by the students. I would think that the teachers would have heard these stories many times, but even so they were tearing up and crying, and it just shows that they love and care for the students so much. That was very impactful for me to realize that it is all driven by love for them. Obviously, everyone has their physical needs, to just survive and try to address those, but just being able to love because Jesus loved us, that was very powerful.”
“It was like being on holy ground. The stories that the girls told were so tender and gut-wrenching to listen to. You don’t hear vulnerability like that; I felt so honored to be near these women and listen to their stories.”
STORIES
“My mother was a member of FEBA; we are 5 children. But she had trouble in her marriage and came to FEBA for help. This is a place where women who have been abandoned or widowed come. It was very difficult for her to pay our school fees but FEBA helped. Last year she died and I could not continue at university to study medicine. Maman Monique helped me have a place to stay, and Maman Nadine and Papa Eddie (Monique’s son and daughter-in-law) have adopted me and they are now my parents.”
“I come from Lodja. In 2019 I married and we had a baby but my husband became very sick. They brought him to Kinshasa but he died on May 7, 2021, and I was alone with my child in Lodja. I came to Kinshasa to bury him but did not have a way to get home. A relative brought me here to FEBA. As a young widow I was crying all the time. When I came here I had to tell my story to Maman Monique. I was thinking “How am I going to pay my transport? How am I going to take care of my child?” Maman Monique is helping me with transport money, I can make peanuts to sell. I have had joy from the day that I came here; it is 9 months now. I can have some joy because I am learning something that I can use in my life. She has put some joy in my heart; I didn’t have anything that was giving me joy. Thank you so much, Maman Monique!”
STORIES
“I came from a village. My mother was in an abusive marriage and could not care for me. An aunt in the city took me … and made me a drudge to do all the housework. The aunt was a member of FEBA and the leaders of FEBA spoke with her about this abuse, so the aunt passed me over to my uncle and they treated me even more cruelly; my cousins made me do all their work. When I came to FEBA, Maman Monique told my aunt what her younger brother was doing and made her take me back. FEBA has given me a full scholarship and transport money, and plan to bring me to live in the Women’s Center as soon as possible.”
REFLECTIONS
In rural areas poverty hits you in the face. In the city it is more subtle; what struck me was the break-down of the societal unit. These girls who came to Kinshasa: there used to be a traditional mechanism that supported children without families, but it is breaking down and you see the fruits of that in the city.”
“I was really struck by a lot of the conditions, and I have been thinking what does ‘growth’ mean?”
“The trip helped me appreciate more tangibly what challenge looks like there. How can you change from where you are to a different way when that’s the hill you’re trying to climb?”
“We got a very good exposure to the 'eco-system,' the environment in which our partners work in Kinshasa. At the inauguration we saw FEBA’s position within the community.”
“I keep thinking of these girls. That’s where I see God at work. God leads these girls individually, everyone through different means, to Monique and to the Center. Their lives were so devastatingly bad in so many ways, where they experienced all that rejection and hopelessness, and suddenly they have these women who surround them and love them, and yes they teach them literacy and life skills and sewing and all that’s amazing and it’s part of their healing. … Pouring out love is a huge gift; even in the worst of circumstances, even if they don’t have money to give these girls, they use what they have and they pour out their love and I am always amazed by that.”
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